The story of my OTD

(for future reference: OTD= obsessive tea drinking)

My first encounter with this divine drink was through summer camp breakfasts. For some reason I thought lemon tea was the way to go (perhaps one of my friends had tea, I don’t know). I believe I went overboard with the lemon tea, because I couldn’t bear the thought of drinking it for a number of years following camp.

My next obsession was mint tea… Once again I went overboard with it and found it impossible to drink for several years.

I have now reached perfect balance in my OTD when it comes to what teas I drink (… balance = drink all of them), and as a result I have dedicated an entire cupboard (read: 1.5 shelves) to my “collection”.

You may be wondering “Why on earth is this crazy person going on about their OTD? Who cares?”, which isquite an appropriate response. It just so happens that I hate coffee with a passion, and I consumed my first ever coffee today (capsule Café au lait… It was ghastly!) In an attempt tomake up for this terrible experience I had lemon tea for the first time in forever, and it brought back so many memories 😛 ❤

Anyway, this was a little peek into my life with OTD, I will now return to my little tea cabinet to nest!

//jz

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15 things you didn’t know about me… maybe!

So, since I’m more or less extremely bored, I figured I could do a “Things you didn’t know about me… maybe”-post. If you’re a very analytical person (or super close to me) you might know some, or all! , of these things.
(warning, some things might be a bit TMI 😛 )

#1 I have way too many playlists on Spotify

#2 I hate it when people complain about being fat when they’re not (same goes for “ugly”)

#3 I’m good at hiding how I feel in front of people

#4 … and I suffer from emotional overloads/breakdowns more often than what I know is healthy for me

#5 I love going to church, but I rarely do

#6 I label people, although I know I shouldn’t… working on that.

#7 I’m afraid of what people think of me

#8 I love to write short stories, but rarely finish them

#9 I have the most regular periods ever! Works like clockwork (and if it doesn’t I’m worried sick until something happens 😛 )

#10 I think in different languages. Swedish, English, Russian (I don’t know how that’s possible, considering my limited skills), French (same as with Russian, guess I just mumble things that sound like French?)

#11 I’ve managed to kill a cactus… I don’t know if I watered it too much, or too little… it shall remain one of the greatest mysteries life has to offer.

#12 I’m addicted to Pinterest! I’ve basically planned my entire life (and the lives of my future kids… creepy)!

#13 I’m 110% sure there’s something fishy in our house… some spirit is certainly haunting either me or the house. *shudders*

#14 A part of me thinks I’m paranoid.

#15 I like to think of myself as a nice person. I try to be good to people, fair, honest, caring and kind. I want to be able to look back at things I’ve done and give myself a pat on the shoulder and say “That’s a good thing you did right there!”

I’m sure someone knew at least one of these!

//jz

9 things I would tell my 14-yo self

My life during 7th-8th grade was hardly enjoyable. It was rough. When I was at my lowest I really wish I would have known these things.

#1 – you’ll find true love
I remember feeling a bit (a lot) like the forever alone meme. I thought I would never find anyone. Look what happened a year later;

This is one of the more presentable pictures… Also it’s relatively recent!

Cutest, bestest, most awesomest le boyfriend anyone could dream of! Life would be a whole lot different if he wasn’t around… *shudders* Let’s not think about that!

#2 – it may not be easy, but you’ll come out a winner!
We all need encouragement on our way, and I had no one giving me that encouragement. Better do it myself 😉

#3 – your parents might never get it, but tell them anyway
Mom found out by reading emails on MY ACCOUNT!! I was so angry!!! Oh well… I don’t know if it was good or bad… guess it was good… I think it was good…

#4 – periods are a bitch, learn to live with them
… they only get worse!

#5 – don’t choose longer calculus!
If you do, you’re on your own! I did… I survived… and it wasn’t that bad, just really bad 😛

#6 – You’ll make awesome friends!
I’m not saying I was a loner, but friends were at a limited supply… Not saying I have an ocean of friends nowadays, but certainly more than… 5?

#7 – don’t grow out your hair
It won’t look any better than it did in primary school… in fact, it’ll look worse!
I’ve always had thin, straight, THIN hair, so short cuts will always be my friends 🙂 (“rocked” the bob for 6 years)

#8 – you’ll turn out fine!
Don’t we all have those moments in life when we feel like the ugliest pieces of junk possible?

#9 – your current struggles are rewards of the future
So many bad things were going on, and now so many good things are going on. It’s not a coincidence; your efforts are what God (or the universe, or a higher energy, or fate, anything) uses to help you in whatever you need help with. Reaching a goal, going after your dreams, anything! Nothing goes unseen, everything counts, and eventually good things will come to you ^^

//jz

Explaining Myself And My Emotions

(this is a sort of indirect continuation to my previous post; https://jenzzrandom.wordpress.com/2013/07/16/why-do-people-do-this/)

I know most of you won’t give a shit about this (I know that I feel this is a really useless thing to write), but I’m seriously tired of people gossiping about me. Especially when it’s about totally useless crap!

Why do people care so much about how much I cried when Vivian left back for Taiwan? Am I supposed to act like I don’t care she’s going back when she’s a best friend of mine? How non-emotional do you think I am?!?!

For 11 months we were inseparable. We instantly became best friends. We shared an insane number of truly amazing moments. We became so close it’s hard even for me to understand.

Before she left (a few weeks or so?) I remember thinking “Oh it’s fine, loads of time left..”. Turns out those weeks passed like seconds! (In fact 11 months felt like max. 11 weeks, still more like 11 days!!)

As we arrived at the airport it was finally beginning to sink in that this was the time for goodbye.. Suddenly all the memories came to me.
When we began hugging goodbye I felt as if I was saying goodbye to a part of myself. I can’t remember ever feeling that way about anyone. It was heartbreaking.

“it’s not like she’s dead or anything..” I know!! Bit when you’re that close to someone, you’re unsure about when you’ll see them again, and you know you’re bound to miss them more than you’ve ever missed anyone else you’re bound to get emotional! 
I know there are people who don’t necessarily cry that easily, or who just don’t cry, but I’m definitely not one of those. I cry often, easily, and a lot. 

I have to admit 4 hours of non-stop crying is a lot even for me, but please.. 

I never understood why people have to analyze the emotional actions of someone else.
“I don’t understand why ________ is so depressed. I mean, it’s not such a big deal all her friends have left her”
“Why has ________ been to sad lately?” – ‘I hear her parents are arguing a lot…’ 
“How come _________ is so happy all the time? It’s not liek she’s won the lottery or anything…”

“Why did Jenny have to cry for like 3 hours or whatever… it’s not like Vivian’s dead or anything..” —— She may not be dead, but she’s an incredibly important friend to me (something you will never ever be.)

Thankyou for reading this (supposedly) useless piece of my brain. I genuinely hope people would stop being so bored with their own lives – I’m getting a bit tired of having my life examined by those kinds of people 🙂

//jz
(wow, turned out a lot longer than I thought it would.. 😛 )